Advice needed urgently – loosing friends for no reason

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How do I start? I can’t believe am asking myself this question anyway my name is Charles Iyang  and your advice is needed urgently because i think i have issues loosing people dear to me for no reason.

Please easy on the backlash because am not a writer neither am I a journalist just worked in a media outfit in Nigeria for 10 years ,  so don’t mind me if my words are not being placed or arranged properly like a professional writer or journalist would.

I can describe myself as an reclusive/introvert and I have a reason for that, 20 years ago to be precise I had a very closed friend we were so perfect together, due to the fact that I was having family issues because I was born into a very toxic polygamous family which I can’t even explain right now, Olajuwon my friend became my brother I told him everything about me and he did the same.

We were so close that if I was in a place alone people ask me where is your friend some even call him my brother, they ask him the same question too, some 2 or 3 years into our blissful relationship I discovered his father and my father were also friends when they were young I got to discover this the day I actually meet his dad who asked me the normal Yoruba questions  ‘’omo ta nie’’ ‘’kiloruko baba e kini ishe ti baba e nse ‘’ & ‘’omo ilu wo nie? Meaning who is your father what is your father’s profession and where do you come from?.

After giving him the full name of my dad and where he came from he shouted ‘’ MILIKI’’ my dearest friend and he went on to tell us stories about  their adventures ,business encounters and so on.

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He later advised us to be good friends and always be true to each other, that in fact even got us more closer than we were before the glorious meeting with his dad, any way years went by and i got a job  and things changed I still don’t know what went wrong , till now I still ask myself where did I go wrong?.

My friend started giving me attitudes and always finding fault in me until we ended up in a heated argument that he said so many bad things about me things I confided in him. I went home that night and said to myself why did you take this job?

Because I loved him so much he was the brother I never had after some days I decided to move on with my life and I moved out of the area because I could no longer live with myself knowing people will always ask me about him.

I later settled with him after so many years we talk at times on phone and most times he calls but the closeness in no more and that was how our friendship died.

Today am passing through the same thing again I meet a younger friend Taofeek in my new domain and quickly got along well, he introduced me to some friends kachi n Gabriel  who I find interesting , smart, ambitious and the zeal to grow financially.

Kachi was not new to me because  we lived in my former area together only that we were not closed just distance acquaintance. And it was a pleasure to meet him again here.

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As time goes on we developed a bond between us and we all had a dream to be responsible though we hang out every night have a bottle or two discuss politics and have meaningful arguments and a collective agreement and conclusions.

Oh I omitted the part when the media house I worked with had issues and could not pay salaries for six months and I had issues paying my rent , my landlord became so aggressive I pleaded with him but he insisted I move out of his house. I consulted my friends and I told them I had no choice than to sell my car in other to raise money for a new apartment.

My friends were devastated because I know if they could raise the money then they would have bailed me out ,but we had no choice or rather I had no choice than to sell the car, luckily for me there was a vacant apartment in Taofeek’s house so we talked to the land lord who was also a gentle man and a rare landlord who is not as aggressive as my former landlord .

To cut the long story short I moved in and that even tightened our bond and friendship, we lived together in the house like brothers not until 4/11/2018 when he claimed he visited me in my apartment and my son told him I was sleeping , he got angry and left he did not tell me he was aggrieved with me until the next day when we meet at our usual spot and he mentioned it.

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The first thing he said was bros I did not expect you could treat me this way after how I cherished you like a brother you told your children to kick me out of your apartment why? Although I told Kachi and he advised me not to be angry.

I was furiously angry and shocked at the same time, I said when did this happen because I have no knowledge of what you are talking about, he kept on going like he had something else he has been nursing in his mind about me.

I was able to control my anger and emotions because that has always been the weakest part of me I was angry because he did not confront me first instead he went straight to Kachi.

That night Kachi tried to talk some sense into him but he was adamant and sure whatever happened that faithful day  was intentional .

Now he is avoiding me , I hear his voice coming down the stairs and he just ignores me as if I don’t live in the house , My problem now is i don’t want our neighbors to start asking questions because they know how close we are.

Questions and questions keep going through my mind I don’t even know what to do because I hate it when friends suddenly starts acting strange it gives me this strange feelings that I have a problem of loosing people I love dearly over  unnecessary issues.

 

Kindly Advise on what to do




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